I warned in several posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. But the issue arose again, and reminded me how urgent it is that each partner remain alert to… Continue Reading
So we left off with the concept that if a secret affects children, those children have the right to know. This does not mean that you can use children to unburden yourself, like my patient did with her eldest daughter and her… Continue Reading
Back to ideas about how best to reveal a secret. It can’t hurt to start where we left off–using your common sense. Other tips: don’t construct a whole back story behind your secret to cover your guilt. I know it’s tempting–I really do–but… Continue Reading
So you’re convinced, due to some circumstance or another, that the time has come to reveal your secret, and relieve yourself of the burden of shame and hiding that has weighed you down for so long. NOW what? Well, best… Continue Reading
So we return to secrets hidden in plain sight, and particularly to Miriam’s* mentally unstable father, Max,* whom everyone seemed to know about, but no one actually mentioned. Max didn’t come out during the day. Ever. When there were certain… Continue Reading
“Brilliant!” Harry whispered. “If everyone knows, no one will suspect it’s a secret!” No, it isn’t really “the Harry” that we’ve come to know and love via Ms. Rowling. It’s rather from a takeoff of the Potter series, Harry Potter and… Continue Reading
If we’re to take an honest look at secret-keeping–and that involves our own–we need to ask ourselves some fundamental questions about why we continue in our path of secrecy. Ask yourself these–and be honest: 1. Who else knows this secret?… Continue Reading
It’s not the place here to go back and examine Manfred’s issues with sexuality, and his conviction that if he just tried marriage, all would be well. What does matter, ultimately, is the secret Manfred kept, and how damaging it was… Continue Reading
Susan* had always been agentic, had known from her visit to Cornell that she wanted to and would go there, had known from her initial interview with Price Waterhouse Coopers that she wanted to and would work there–and had known… Continue Reading
Benjamin Fanklin said many, many wise things, and this saying speaks to one of the simplest dangers of keeping a secret–the secret isn’t safe if more than one person holds it. “Three may keep a secret,” wrote Ben–“if two of them… Continue Reading
Throughout the years I have dealt with secrets in many forms and permutations. The issue must be addressed, of course, of the difference between privacy and secrecy, for everyone deserves their privacy. But secrecy, I have learned well, often involves… Continue Reading
