In the last five posts I addressed several different kinds of problem marriages, where often the basic underpinnings of the marriage are weak, and thus one or more partners often ends up asking if they should stay or go. Let… Continue Reading
Here’s a statistic from Dr. Paul Amato, sociologist at Penn State University, that I find staggering: Around 55-60 percent of divorces occur in low-conflict marriages, where hollering is at a minimum, and arguments might even be quite rare. Dr. Amato calls these… Continue Reading
Susan* had always been agentic, had known from her visit to Cornell that she wanted to and would go there, had known from her initial interview with Price Waterhouse Coopers that she wanted to and would work there–and had known… Continue Reading
In my years in practice and as a social being I’ve come across a number of marriages that were, shall we say, to put it tactfully, not functioning optimally. Over time I came to see that such marriages fell, more… Continue Reading
Finally I come to the last problem marriage structure [and note that there is an infinite number of ways in which these dynamics are played out–I’m just drawing the very broad outlines]: When a spouse utilizes marriage to complete the… Continue Reading
But let’s return to Maura, Mike and Matthew, from Low Conflict Marriages #1. The second unique thing about Maura’s decision to leave Mike was Matthew’s reaction. After that winning session where Maura announced she’d be leaving her husband, Maura felt… Continue Reading
So Jordan continued to work hard to try not to see what was before his eyes. He would tell me that the mileage on Jesse’s car didn’t add up to what it should have if she had been where she… Continue Reading
We may all know a woman married to a guy who is, for lack of a better term, a total stinker. He’s negative, controlling, unreliable, thinks screaming is a wonderful way of communicating, and is not just un-nurturing to her,… Continue Reading
But let’s say you’re not in a high-conflict marriage, where research is telling you that getting out may be best for your children. What if your marriage doesn’t even look bad to others? Do you have the “right,” in your… Continue Reading
“SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?!” Remember that chorus? The English punk rock band The Clash became something of a one-hit wonder with their 1981 catchy “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” success. I can’t say you’re missing… Continue Reading
