So if you’ve spent some time thinking about it, in an organized fashion, you’ll probably realize that there are fundamentally only four different permutations of ways to divide financial responsibilities. You’ll also probably be intimately familiar with one of them.… Continue Reading
One of my jobs as an adviser to couples is to inquire about early warning signs. In the Oct. 13 New Yorker I read the story of one Mathew Martoma, whose long-held secret was outed when the feds arrested him, in… Continue Reading
One of our followers, Julia Smith, offered to share with our readers the following charming blog on the effects of work and college stress, and I thought everyone might enjoy what for us is a breather. Have “fun.” Image compliments of… Continue Reading
I warned in several posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. But the issue arose again, and reminded me how urgent it is that each partner remain alert to… Continue Reading
So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters, and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re… Continue Reading
A beautiful woman with a twice-mortgaged house in an expensive suburb finds her husband somewhat less than enamored with her chronic spending. Fights ensue after each purchase that she finds reasonable–a ‘must-have,’ really–and he perceives as an outrageous waste of… Continue Reading
Ok, so you’re working together to create a financial plan acceptable to both of you. Why not begin with the checkbook? Ask yourselves this question about how to handle the checkbook–do you want one checkbook–or three? Let’s say you like… Continue Reading
No matter which way you decide to divide the checkbook, there should be three laws for checking accounts in a good marriage. 1. The Law of Autonomy: In this case, each spouse is allowed to use a certain amount of… Continue Reading
As much as your friends and family would love to protect you, it’s really your own job to avoid being betrayed financially, as you’re the one who has all the clues. Be your own detective regarding financially improper or criminal… Continue Reading
So you’ve bought into my proposition in my last entry that unequal financial power that is not discussed will lead to distancing everywhere, including the bedroom. But how should couples communicate about such a difficult topic? Let’s start with a… Continue Reading
Let’s talk about a topic that interests all of us–money. Ask yourself the following questions: What causes the 3 biggest fights in marriage? Now don’t peek at the next line before you try to answer. My guess is that you’re… Continue Reading
I may not be in the majority here, but I think teaching is a great job. My sister, my two daughters, and I all taught English at some point or other in our careers. Now, English may not be the… Continue Reading
