Family Systems, Parenting, Controlling Spouses
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in that wonderful bass voice of his: “Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Let’s see where that takes us. Picture this: Mom restricts TV-watching for her children to Sponge Bob alone (poor dears), and her… Continue Reading
Let us just take a brief moment to thank Brad Pitt for his innovative contribution to the Commitment Phobe cause. Says Pitt: “Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally… Continue Reading
The truth will out, as it always does. Eventually you will know that your partner is commitment phobic. Perhaps you’ll be like Sally, only to discover after umpteen years of false promises that your man won’t be walking you down the aisle.… Continue Reading
Rule #1 for a Commitment Phobe: Always remember the back door. Wendy* worried, early in the relationship, because she wasn’t Jewish. A lovely woman originally from Oregon, Wendy had spent time in therapy working on relationship issues, and learning how… Continue Reading
Lessons 1-7 are in the the post below, Blended Families–Part III. 8. Avoid areas staked out by the child’s own parent. If your step-son says, “Dad says he’ll teach me to sail,” don’t run out to the nearest shipyard. 9.… Continue Reading
Let’s start with: Lessons for Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry. 1. Work to reduce your children’s feelings of loss as they share you with your new partner–and perhaps other childen. Work to do this by continuing to spend… Continue Reading
Some spouses came across as aggressive and demanding. But Norah and Tali were different. Let’s look at two controlling women who passively managed to get their spouses to do their bidding. Norah never learned to drive. Norm encouraged her repeatedly… Continue Reading
So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters, and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re… Continue Reading
Layla* was a shy, reserved, nine-year-old “daddy’s girl” who had done poorly since her parents had divorced and she had lost the full-time emotional support of and connection to her father, Luke.* Lisa* was divorced from an emotionally abusive man. After… Continue Reading
As Mario Puzo informed us–and he ought to know–“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” So far, so good. But loyalty to, precisely, which part of the family and… Continue Reading
So we’ve addressed the importance of picking and winning small battles, as well as of not entering into an argument with your spouse on topics on which there’s really no ‘winning.’ What else can you do to get out from… Continue Reading
As some of the past posts have shown (take the post on triangles, for example), utilizing the genogram within the family systems approach often has significant explanatory powers for why a person finds him or herself stuck within current relational patterns.… Continue Reading
