Secrets, Dating, Relationships
People tend to justify some inappropriate secret-keeping with the self-righteous claim that, “It’s no one’s business,” or–better yet–“It’s private.” So what is the difference between privacy and secrecy–and how do you know if you’re being private–which is okay–or secretive, which can… Continue Reading
So if you’ve spent some time thinking about it, in an organized fashion, you’ll probably realize that there are fundamentally only four different permutations of ways to divide financial responsibilities. You’ll also probably be intimately familiar with one of them.… Continue Reading
A story of injustice mixed with justice hit the news yesterday. A Florida sheriff arrested 2 girls (ages 14 and 12) for cyberbullying. Their victim, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, jumped to her death from an abandoned concrete factory. The Facebook entry… Continue Reading
The truth will out, as it always does. Eventually you will know that your partner is commitment phobic. Perhaps you’ll be like Sally, only to discover after umpteen years of false promises that your man won’t be walking you down the aisle.… Continue Reading
I warned in several posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. But the issue arose again, and reminded me how urgent it is that each partner remain alert to… Continue Reading
So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters, and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re… Continue Reading
As Mario Puzo informed us–and he ought to know–“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” So far, so good. But loyalty to, precisely, which part of the family and… Continue Reading
A beautiful woman with a twice-mortgaged house in an expensive suburb finds her husband somewhat less than enamored with her chronic spending. Fights ensue after each purchase that she finds reasonable–a ‘must-have,’ really–and he perceives as an outrageous waste of… Continue Reading
Ok, so you’re working together to create a financial plan acceptable to both of you. Why not begin with the checkbook? Ask yourselves this question about how to handle the checkbook–do you want one checkbook–or three? Let’s say you like… Continue Reading
No matter which way you decide to divide the checkbook, there should be three laws for checking accounts in a good marriage. 1. The Law of Autonomy: In this case, each spouse is allowed to use a certain amount of… Continue Reading
My son–now a professor, an educator of today’s youth, a scientist in search of truth–was, in his salad days, a world-class faker. He particularly perfected his art when it came to faking illness in order to get out of school.… Continue Reading
As much as your friends and family would love to protect you, it’s really your own job to avoid being betrayed financially, as you’re the one who has all the clues. Be your own detective regarding financially improper or criminal… Continue Reading
