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Privacy vs. Secrecy?Who Owns the Secret?

People tend to justify some inappropriate secret-keeping with the self-righteous claim that, “It’s no one’s business,” or–better yet–“It’s private.” So what is the difference between privacy and secrecy–and how do you know if you’re being private–which is okay–or secretive, which can… Continue Reading

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Dividing Financial Responsibilities

So if you’ve spent some time thinking about it, in an organized fashion, you’ll probably realize that there are fundamentally only four different permutations of ways to divide financial responsibilities. You’ll also probably be intimately familiar with one of them.… Continue Reading

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Bullying’s Victims: Profile of Our Vulnerable Children. Oct. Is Bullying Prevention Month

A story of injustice mixed with justice hit the news yesterday. A Florida sheriff arrested 2 girls (ages 14 and 12) for cyberbullying. Their victim, 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, jumped to her death from an abandoned concrete factory.  The Facebook entry… Continue Reading

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Warning Signs Your Date Might Be a Commitment Phobe

The truth will out, as it always does. Eventually you will know that your partner is commitment phobic. Perhaps you’ll be like Sally, only to discover after umpteen years of false promises that your man won’t be walking you down the aisle.… Continue Reading

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Avoid Financial Betrayal: Be Your Own Detective

I warned in several posts against ignorance of financial matters in a relationship, much as a person might like to abdicate financial responsibility. But the issue arose again, and reminded me how urgent it is that each partner remain alert to… Continue Reading

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Money May Equal Power in Couple Relationships

So, let’s assume, for the moment, that I’m that marriage counselor competent in financial matters,  and a couple with an unequal money-power ratio has come to me. Let’s assume you, the reader, are part of that dyad. So, if you’re… Continue Reading

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The Ties that Bind–Up and Over

As Mario Puzo informed us–and he ought to know–“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.” So far, so good. But loyalty to, precisely, which part of the family and… Continue Reading

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Financial Deceit in Marriage

A beautiful woman with a twice-mortgaged house in an expensive suburb finds her husband somewhat less than enamored with her chronic spending. Fights ensue after each purchase that she finds reasonable–a ‘must-have,’ really–and he perceives as an outrageous waste of… Continue Reading

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The Checkbook–His, Hers, Ours?

Ok, so you’re working together to create a financial plan acceptable to both of you.  Why not begin with the checkbook? Ask yourselves this question about how to handle the checkbook–do you want one checkbook–or three? Let’s say you like… Continue Reading

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Faking Grief: When an Expression Reveals the Truth

My son–now a professor, an educator of today’s youth, a scientist in search of truth–was, in his salad days, a world-class faker. He particularly perfected his art when it came to faking illness in order to get out of school.… Continue Reading

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Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail

As much as your friends and family would love to protect you, it’s really your own job to avoid being betrayed financially, as you’re the one who has all the clues. Be your own detective regarding financially improper or criminal… Continue Reading