People tend to justify some inappropriate secret-keeping with the self-righteous claim that, “It’s no one’s business,” or–better yet–“It’s private.” So what is the difference between privacy and secrecy–and how do you know if you’re being private–which is okay–or secretive, which can… Continue Reading
This morning while rinsing out my hair color, the 1957 commercial for Clairol home hair dye sang into my imagination’s ear: “Does She or Doesn’t She? Only her hair dresser knows for sure.” The urgency of keeping hair color a… Continue Reading
What are some warning signs you can and should learn to pick up on early in the relationship, signs that the person you are with is a controlling partner? As a general indicator, a huge warning sign that you’re involved… Continue Reading
Well, I never really knew you ’til you said goodbye~Vince Gill If you want to know something about bereavement that slides from ‘normal’ to ‘complicated’ in a moment of revelation, due to unimaginable circumstances, you need look no further than… Continue Reading
So if you’ve spent some time thinking about it, in an organized fashion, you’ll probably realize that there are fundamentally only four different permutations of ways to divide financial responsibilities. You’ll also probably be intimately familiar with one of them.… Continue Reading
When a distressed couple looks to me to referee their repeated argument, the lyrics from “Ah Yes, I Remember It Well”(“Gigi,” 1951*) sometimes relieve the tension. He: She: We met at nine We met at eight. I was on time.… Continue Reading
According to the Bowker Books in Print database (courtesy of the WSJ article “New Ways to Get Kids to Behave”), the number of parenting books published or distributed rose from 2,774 in 2007 to 3,520 in 2011. I’ll bet most… Continue Reading
Molly* is a difficult [in my more honest moments I think of her as nearly tyrannical] early adolescent, who makes her mother’s life a horror. She picks on Mom’s clothes, her hairstyle–the way she chews her toast in the morning.… Continue Reading
Let’s address what happens when the ones campaigning for attention of a certain parent are a child–and the new spouse. Look, let’s face it. Your child has very little cause to be invested in your new marriage. Either he’d like… Continue Reading
I’m the only one in my family with a green thumb. I’ve got foster plants from almost every relative, which I’ve nursed back from the vegetative graveyard, and they’ve taken over my house. My husband is quite tolerant of it, given… Continue Reading
My strongest and most vivid memories are false! It’s rare that we can ever reconstruct what “really” happened, but in two cases, I saw clearly, not through the glass darkly. The earlier vignette is a story I shared proudly and… Continue Reading
c Teen suicide–two words that should never appear next to each other. The alarming frequency of this terrifying occurrence has come to public attention during this pandemic. We tell ourselves: No surprise; it’s bad for teens to be stuck inside… Continue Reading
